In Need of Chocolate

I haven't really felt like posting anything lately...I haven't even really felt like even getting out of bed. So, sorry if the 3 people that read this have felt neglected. It's really hot here and I'm in a pissy mood and dammit if there isn't any chocolate in the house!...Probably not a good time to be giving any kind of permanence to my deranged thoughts....
Stuff that goes on inside my head:

• My neighborhood is made up entirely of old retired people who do nothing but ride around in golf carts with their little yappy dogs, and CUT THEIR GRASS EVERY OTHER GOD DAMN DAY!! ARGH!!
  
• When I get a phone call from my kids school, my first instinct is to tell them that "My mom's not home right now..."
  
• Some reasons that I won't be up for the coveted "MOM OF THE YEAR" award this year...or ever
  -leave it on the table
  -got a job yet?
  -was that english?
  -something involving ground meat
  -When's your mother coming to get you?
  
• Measure twice, dig once
  
• Domestic chores are a form of punishment. I'm sure hell is nothing but infinate piles of dirty dishes, unsorted socks, uncooked meals, and unchanged babies. Note to self: start being good not so bad better fuck it!
  
• The husband does all of the cooking around here. Me cook?! Touch raw meat? Ewwww....Call me when its ready
  
• VH1 Classics is my new best friend! Billy Idol Videos! YAY!! Danzig Videos! YAY! Vintage Slayer Videos! YAY!!