Clean Your Plate 101

I'm seriously having doubts about my kids. Sometimes I wonder if they're even mine. I'm starting to forget about hoping they'll be able to get into the college that they want. Now I just hope they'll be able to find the front door.

I don't really require my boys to do a whole lot around the house. There are just a few basic things that they are expected to do everyday. Things like feed and water their animals, keep thier clothes picked up off the floor and put away the folded ones, bring thier dirty clothes and towels out to the laundry basket after they have a bath, and do the dishes once a day. Yes, I make my boys do dishes...they should make someone a lovely wife one day! But, I still have to remind them to do these things...EVERY DAY! These are all things that they should just KNOW have to be done. When I remind them to do something, they just stare at me blankly and say "oh, I forgot." I feel like I wake up every single day with a brand new foreign exchange student who doesn't know the language and is unfamilar with living indoors!

I have stopped going into the boys' rooms to pick up clothes off the floor to wash. If they can't remember to pick up their clothes and put them into the basket to be washed, then I refuse to remember to wash them. So, when they ask me where all of their socks, jeans, shirts, whatever, are, I tell them to look on the floor!

If I never reminded them to feed the animals, they would all be dead. They can't even remember to let their dog out a couple of times a day. And, when one of them does happen to remember to let her out, they forget to let her back in! Today we had this nice exchange:
ME: "Where is Baby Dog? I can't find her."
KID 2: "oops! I forgot her outside!"
ME: "I hope you never have children."

Every night, after we eat dinner, the same thing happens. I tell the kids to scrape any leftovers into the garbage, rinse the plate off, and put it in the sink. EVERY NIGHT I find a plate, on the counter....with food on it!! ARGH!!! These kids are 12 and 16 years old. And, it's not like I just invented this new procedure and sprung it on them unexpectedly one day! We've been doing it this way for hundreds of years!
I usually just totally loose it!

ME: "Why are there plates sitting here on the counter?"
KIDS: ::blank stares::
KID 1: "I didn't know what to do with it."
KID 2: "I forgot."
ME: "Christ on Crutches!! Looks like we're gonna have to have that What-To-Do-With-Your-Fucking-Plate-When-You're-Done-Eating Class again!! How hard is it to remember to rinse the damn plate off?! Especially when I told you just 20 minutes ago, and every night since you were born, what to do with it! "
KID 2: "Do you want me to put this plate in the sink?"
ME: ::Looking for something heavy to throw::